My Very First Time!

I was competing in the preliminary round of Dance Prix Indonesia on April 16. I was there to represent my university ballet club. The event took place at Teater Kecil Taman Ismail Marzuki Jakarta. I felt like, let me quote Miley Cyrus, “my tummy’s turning and I’m feeling kind of homesick” through the day because everybody seemed so awesome and professional, like I was the only beginner here and I did not feel confident at all. But at the same time I felt so excited because Dance Prix Indonesia was my very first contemporary dance competition (I was never a competition girl!).

I was the contestant number 22 out of 23, and the one who was number 23 got third place last year so the pressure was so thick I could cut with a knife. I thought miracle happened because I didn’t feel nervous at all when I was on the stage. I was dancing so freely and I felt satisfied with my performance. That was really surprising when people gave me applauses and cheers, I didn’t think that they would be entertained with my performance because my skill was below the others’. Anyway, I was so curious about the result but we had to wait for about 30 minutes before the result was up.

You know what? I got into the finals!!! I couldn’t believe that and I wanted to cry. The final round was on Sunday afternoon. All contestants should perform with the same choreography and variations they did yesterday. Preliminary round was tough but final round was the whole another thing.

Around 1 PM, all contestants were told to be in the backstage, preparing for their performance. The competition started with all categories from ballet (junior, pre-senior, and senior) and then contemporary (solo and group). I had to wait until 4.30 because contemporary solo would begin at 5, and I tried to keep my body warm by stretching. I managed to make friends, some of them were foreigners (the fact that there were some foreigners (and their dancing = goals!!!) in the competition made my stomach flip in the worst possible way). They were all so nice!!! I was glad I talked to them lmao.

At 4.30, we were told that we got the chance to try the stage for five minutes only. The time when all contemporary solo contestants got into the stage was my favorite part of the day because it was so awesome, I felt like a Broadway dancer. We were there, with no music, but we danced with our own choreography, and everyone seemed so focused on themselves. Even though it was not organized and people were moving on their own, it was just awesome if you saw it with your own eyes. It felt like I was in the movie or something like that.

Our five minute was gone and the competition started to begin again. Every one of us was called to be on the stage and my turn was up. I danced but I was not really satisfied with my performance because I forgot my last jump (that was the stupid of me). Well my preliminary round’s performance was better but that was okay. At last, I didn’t win. I said that I was not disappointed because I knew I wouldn’t (and couldn’t) win. But to be really honest, deep down inside I was a bit disappointed because I knew I could be better than that. Well this was my very first competition after all and I was super happy I went through the final round. It was a blast! 

The Struggle of Being a Middle Child

Being a middle child is not as fun as people imagine. You might think that being a middle child is a good thing because you have an older sibling and a younger one. Let me tell you that it’s not 100% true. Everything was perfect until your mom gave birth to another child and you no longer were the cute little baby in the family. I am a middle child and I’m sure every middle child in this world faces the same problem as I do.

In my case, people in general (including my relatives and friends) tend to compare me with my other siblings and I feel like I always live under the shadow of my older sister. People keep asking me why I don’t want to be like her or why I don’t choose the same path as her. I don’t like being compared because my siblings and I have different talents and abilities, so I think it’s not fair to compare every one of us. I’m so fed up with those comments. People, please. Being different is not a crime. We were born unique and it is actually a good thing. We have different interests and personalities. We live in different bodies with different minds. It’s impossible for me to be like her and vice versa.

Another reason is because middle children always get the hand-me-downs. When my older or younger sibling wants to buy new things, my parents let them buy the things that they want and need. But when it comes to my turn, I always get the thing that previously used by my older sister, for example I wear her clothes and use her school stuff such as bags or books. It’s always been like this: my older sister’s needs are my parents’ number one priority because she studies abroad. My youngest sister’s needs are my parents’ second priority because she’s still in elementary school (basically because she’s the youngest. God, I think being the youngest in the family is the best position). Because of that I have to accept the truth that I will almost always get the hand-me-downs from my older sister.

I like them, though. I am glad I have them as my siblings. But I’m suffering from this middle-child-syndrome. It is not fatal, but it is hard. My older sister is the achiever of the family (she’s the smart one and stuff), my younger sister is the center of attention. And I am here, frustrated, thinking that I might not be good enough and not giving myself enough credits.

If you are a middle child, tell me if you feel the same and don’t worry because you are not alone. We are in the same boat together. We can do this.

Happy Christmas

Happy Christmas to all of you who celebrate it and happy holidays to those who don't.
All photos could also be seen on my tumblr.

Troye Sivan - Blue Neighbourhood

It's been a week (more than a week, actually) since it came out and I feel so proud of Troye, my cinnamon roll! Seriously, I was smiling like a proud mom when it came out.

LOOK AT THE COVER. It's so aesthetic. I have to give standing ovation to Troye's design team because of this beautiful art. It's like the coolest thing ever.

My favorite songs are YOUTH, for him, FOOLS, WILD, BITE, TALK ME DOWN, COOL, LOST BOY, SUBURBIA, BLUE, TOO GOOD, EASE, THE QUIET, HEAVEN, DKLA, basically all songs in this album are my favorites because I'm biased. The music is hypnotizing. Troye's voice is heavenly. The lyrics of the songs are beautiful.

Seriously, this whole album is a work of art.

And the big thing is he is going on tour!!!!111!!! The entire fandom is freaking out, really. Many people has gotten the tickets and make announcement in tumblr like seriously people stop making me jealous. There's no Asia tour so there's no way I can see my son performing live. So sad.

I've been listening to this album for hours because I was (and always am) blown away with his talent. If you haven't listened to this album yet, you better listen to it because it's hella cool.

Type of Fans

source tumblr

Idola remaja pasti punya banyak penggemar. Entah itu penggemar betulan atau penggemar musiman. Penggemar fanatik atau yang biasa-biasa aja. Kamu juga pasti punya sosok yang diidolakan kan ya? Penggemar yang seperti apa dirimu?

10 Types of Fans

1. Penonton Layar Kaca

Penonton layar kaca ini merupakan penggemar setia yang hanya bisa nonton lewat TV atau monitor komputer karena nggak bisa nonton secara langsung. 

Soundtrack (nyanyikan dengan nada lagunya RAN yang judulnya Dekat Di Hati):

Aku di sini dan kau di sana
Hanya melihat dari layar kaca
Namun ku selalu berharap suatu saat akan berjumpa

2. The Desperate Shipper

Orang-orang yang percaya OTP mereka lebih dari mereka percaya Tuhan. Hobi mereka adalah nangisin OTP mereka. Mereka menganggap segala hal yang OTP mereka lakukan adalah tanda cinta. Para desperate shipper ini mencintai OTP mereka lebih dari OTP mereka mencintai satu sama lain. Mereka suka memaksa OTP mereka melakukan hal-hal yang lebih dari memandang satu sama lain dengan penuh cinta. Desperate shipper lebih peduli pada kisah cinta OTP mereka daripada kisah cinta mereka sendiri.

3. The Defense Squad

Pasukan pembela. Kalau kalian menghina idola mereka, kalian akan berurusan dengan mereka. Ini serius. (“IF YOU MESS WITH MY FAVORITE, YOU MESS WITH ME YOU LIL SHIT”)

4. The ‘I will sacrifice all my money for you’ fan

Dedikasinya luar biasa. Mereka tipe penggemar yang datang ke semua konser, rela antre berjam-jam panas-panasan biar bisa datang meet and greet, beli semua merch, koleksi single dan albumnya lengkap.

Mereka rela nabung berhari-hari berbulan-bulan bertahun-tahun biar bisa ketemu idolanya.

5. Bajak Laut

Penggemar yang sering berselancar di internet berjam-jam cari bahan download-an.

Biasanya punya koneksi internet dewa, bakal frustrasi kalau koneksi internetnya ngadat.

Semuanya diunduh. Dari musik, scan majalah, drama, film, film dokumenter, konser. Pokoknya koleksinya lengkap tapi illegal semua.

6. Diam-diam Merayap

Tipe penggemar yang diam-diam saja, nggak kelihatan kalau ngefans. Nggak pernah like atau comment atau subscribe di YouTube tapi tiap hari nonton. Nggak pernah like atau reblog di Tumblr padahal tiap hari scrolling. Nggak pernah follow social media tapi suka stalking. Kalau baca fanfic cuma baca doang, nggak pernah ngasih komentar. Nggak pernah datang konser atau meet and greet padahal dalam hati nangis. Ye kan?

7. The ‘I was there from the beginning’ one

Penggemar yang sudah ngefans dari si idola pertama muncul. Gayanya kayak orang tua karena suka bilang “anakku sudah besar sekarang” atau “aku ingat waktu pertama kali dia muncul rambutnya nggak kayak gini”.

Kadang ada yang jadi sok tahu karena udah lama jadi fans. Suka ngejekin nubi dengan bilang “you must be new here” kalau si nubi kirim komen yang isinya bingung bertanya-tanya apa yang dilakukan sang idola.

Ingin idolanya jadi terkenal tapi kadang-kadang suka kesel ketika idolanya udah terkenal (karena dia harus berbagi idola dengan berjuta-juta fans lainnya).

8. The Know-It-All

Penggemar yang tahu segalanya. Biasanya sering melakukan research. Mereka hapal sejarah hidup idolanya. Kapan sang idola lahir, siapa nama orang tuanya, punya berapa saudara, siapa teman dekatnya, tahu si idola udah pernah pacaran berapa kali, dll, dst. Pokoknya mereka tahu segala sesuatu tentang idola mereka, dari yang jelek-jelek sampai yang bagus-bagus.

9. The Bully

Mereka yang percaya bahwa bully itu tanda cinta. Hobi banget ngebully idola mereka. Ngebullynya bisa dengan berbagaimacam kegiatan seperti ngejadiin idolanya sebagai bahan guyonan, bikin meme, bikin video kompilasi aneh-aneh, dan lain-lain.

10. The Biggest Trash

Bisa dibilang gabungan dari semuanya. Biasanya sudah ada di fandom sejak pertama terbentuk. Mereka bukan cuma setia nonton di layar kaca tapi juga sering datang ke acara meet and greet atau konser. Sering beli merchandise. Tiap hari nangisin OTP. Hobi ngebully idola kayak dijadiin meme atau bikin video lucu-lucuan. Mereka juga termasuk pasukan pembela dan tahu segalanya. Biasanya suka nyampah di tumblr.

JADIIIII YANG MANAKAH DIRIMU?????????

Kalau saya mungkin..................semuanya. Tergantung fandomnya apa dulu aw aw aw.

(Sebenarnya masih ada banyak lagi, tapi ntar kebanyakan ah segini dulu saja.)

PROCRASTINATION

i made it myself yay

Pokrastinasi adalah suatu tindakan menunda-nunda pekerjaan yang penting dan melakukan kegiatan yang tidak penting terlebih dahulu.

 Motto para prokrastinator adalah:

"Kalau bisa dikerjakan nanti, kenapa harus sekarang?"

Iya, kenapa harus dikerjakan sekarang kalau bisa dikerjakan nanti sih??????

Kalau ada satu hal yang bisa aku lakukan seperti seorang profesional, itu adalah prokrastinasi. Yeah. Bikin entri ini kan juga kegiatan prokras (harusnya aku bikin tugas ospek). Masih ditambah prokras yang lain, nulis entri begini tapi masih ditunda-tunda dengan melakukan hal-hal seperti duet bareng Mariah Carey dan joget-joget pakai lagunya Paramore yang judulnya Still Into You. Wow hebat.

Oh benar-benar kebiasaan buruk. 

Bagaimana cara prokras seperti seorang pro? 

(jangan ikuti langkah-langkah di bawah ini)

Mbak Dee dan Karyanya yang Menginspirasi

Baru saja selesai baca ‘Gelombang’, episode kelima dari serial ‘Supernova’. Seperti biasa, serial ini mampu membuat saya hanyut dalam setiap halamannya. Bangga bisa dapat buku ke-746 dari 2014 eksemplar edisi khusus bertanda-tangan.

Dee yang merupakan nama pena dari Dewi Lestari ada di bagian atas di daftar penulis favorit saya. Karyanya yang saya baca pertama kali adalah ‘Perahu Kertas’ kemudian ‘Rectoverso’. Tapi yang benar-benar membuat saya terpesona adalah serial ‘Supernova’.

Saya mulai membaca Supernova kira-kira satu tahun yang lalu ketika saya berumur enam belas tahun. Kenapa saya baru baca tahun lalu padahal serial ini sudah lama terbit? Well, menyesuaikan konten yang ada dengan umur saya. Kalau bacanya dulu-dulu saya pasti nggak akan ngerti isi bukunya yang notabene emang cukup berat.

Karya-karya Mbak Dee selalu mengambil jalan cerita yang tidak biasa. Karya pertamanya, ‘Kesatria, Putri, dan Bintang Jatuh’ diterbitkan tahun 2001 dan di situ disungging pasangan gay Reuben dan Dimas. Mbak Dee sangat berani menyinggung gay di tahun 2001. Di Indonesia, orang-orang gay sangatlah tidak bebas karena bertentangan dengan nilai dan norma bangsa dan agama. Di tahun 2014—yang orang-orangnya sudah mulai berpikiran terbuka dan mulai banyak yang menghormati hak-hak LGBT—saja mereka masih sering dicerca masyarakat, bagaimana dulu? Ini sesuatu yang tidak biasa dan luar biasa menurut saya.

Kisah-kisah di serial ‘Supernova’ ini punya jalan cerita yang sulit ditebak. Dalam setiap seri, tokoh yang dibahas selalu berbeda, dengan latar belakang yang berbeda, dan menghadapi masalah yang berbeda-beda juga. Cinta pertama saya adalah episode ‘Kesatria, Putri, dan Bintang Jatuh’ dan sampai sekarang episode itu tetap menjadi favorit saya. Kebanyakan novel remaja Indonesia (teenlit) punya jalan cerita yang gampang ditebak dan itu membosankan (bagi saya), itulah mengapa sebelum ini saya lebih menikmati karya-karya sastra luar negeri. Begitu saya membaca ‘Supernova’ saya langsung jatuh cinta dan saya tahu kalau mengeluarkan uang untuk melengkapi serial ini bukan hal yang sia-sia tak berguna.

Dalam setiap pengerjaan karyanya, Mbak Dee selalu melakukan riset yang matang. Hal itu terbukti dengan narasi dan dialog yang ada dan terasa begitu nyata. Deskripsinya tentang tempat-tempat di luar sana yang belum pernah saya kunjungi sebelumnya, tentang kehidupan para tokoh yang berasal dari daerah yang berbeda-beda. Segalanya tergambar jelas. Semua permasalahan yang ada juga dijabarkan dengan terperinci seperti cara tokoh itu menyelesaikan masalahnya atau perjalanan spiritual sang tokoh. Banyak istilah yang asing di telinga saya saat saya membaca serial ini. Menurut saya, itu salah satu daya tariknya. Saya selalu dapat belajar hal baru ketika membaca, bahkan bisa memperjelas apa yang selama ini abu-abu bagi saya. 

Membaca serial ini rasanya seperti sedang menyatukan potongan-potongan puzzle yang lama-kelamaan tersusun menjadi satu gambar yang jelas.

Serial ‘Supernova’ sudah banyak menginspirasi banyak orang untuk menulis, termasuk saya. Saya suka pilihan kata yang digunakan Ibu Suri, puitis tapi tidak berlebihan, indah tapi sederhana. Salah satu author fanfiction favorit saya di salah satu fandom juga menulis fic yang terinspirasi dari ‘Supernova’ episode ‘Kesatria, Putri, dan Bintang Jatuh’ dan saya juga jatuh cinta dengan karyanya.

Gara-gara saya sering baca serial ini di sekolah, ‘Virus Supernova’ sudah mulai menyebar di kelas. Tapi bacanya ganti-gantian. Buku saya jadi beredar ke mana-mana, deh. Terima kasih Ibu Suri, karya-karyamu telah menjadi teman setia saya di samping bantal selama setahun belakangan ini. Tak sabar menunggu ‘Inteligensi Embun Pagi’ lahir!

A simple perfection. I found a little piece of heaven.